The deal

If you want me, I need to do a deal with you. You have until the end of this blog post to agree. I want results and I want efficiency: I expect this of every lawyer I am giving work to and I expect this of every client I am working for. 

The criminal proceeds defence process is governed by the High Court civil rules and the proceeds Act itself. Civil litigation is full of paperwork, affidavits, case mentions/calls and timetabling of when documents/pleadings/evidence needs to be filed and served. It is annoying and irritating and expensive. Get used to it. 

Many of you tell me you have never got good results in previous proceeds matters with senior criminal specialists; some who actually call themselves "experts" in proceeds of crime, which is laughable considering who some of them were. At this point in time I do not believe we have substantive defence experts in criminal proceeds, this is going on the lack of substantive defence arguments raised in the last 10 years. However, I notice this is changing because of my advocacy online - you are welcome. Anyway, these guys told you 'everyone consents to things at the restraining level'. There's a reason you never got good results. You were consenting all over the place and never actually looking at the legal basis for restraint in the first place, and never actually doing any proper legal research or strategy at the start of a matter. You were rolling over. You made it so easy for the police and mediocre prosecutors to take your stuff. You had barristers who were not trained in civil law and had no experience in private property litigation. Let me guess. You left everything until the forfeiture hearing right? Easier that way? Less cost that way? Cheaper that way? And how did it feel loosing all your property then? Had no money for an appeal I guess? Bitter and resentful about that barrister aren't you? Same old story. 

It is going to take some time to train a market how to properly tackle criminal proceeds litigation and defence. I am actually having to train senior barristers how to tackle this type of litigation differently too. That's how shithouse this jurisdiction has been in my opinion. Meanwhile the cops and prosecutors are creaming it. And good on them, that's their job. Don't hate the player hate the game. 

So let's talk about 'the game' without any of my TikTok persona, filters, or jokes to lighten things up for you. 

I'm happy to take on this job of overhauling the proceeds of crime jurisdiction for you. I began to do this in 2020 and well, here we are. 

I put myself out there publicly for you. I advocate for clients in multiple jurisdictions, and not easy or popular ones too. You think it is easy bringing attention to controversial Oranga Tamariki child uplifts? You think it is easy to have big arguments with courts and judges? You think it is easy and the 'done thing' to take the types of calculated risks I do in court or in pleadings? There are not alot of barristers like me because it is not easy, but it is the right thing to do. It is the good thing to do. I exist for clients and their families, I am not interested in socializing with Colin at the Northern Club, nor am I interested in going on a date with Po the KC, or hearing about Helen's tennis game in Parnell. That's boring and unfulfilling. You, my clients, the people, are what motivates me. Besides, Po is rich, but he's ugly and his car is shit.  

So look, I will fight for you and your family or your group or your family property or your company property, but in return, this is what you will do as good civil litigants and as clients of mine:

1. Timely communication. Respond to emails, signal messages, and text messages within a reasonable time. Taking 2 weeks to respond to an important advisory email that is seeking your instructions is pathetic. Do better and ask me for clarification if you need it. Ask me to call you if you are confused about something. 

2. Get your private funding sorted at the start of a matter. I am private counsel and many of the barristers I work with are private also. The private detectives are private and Air NZ and hotels in your region do not accept my pretty smile as payment. Get your money together at the start. If you want a 'cheap job', go and check whether you are eligible for legal aid. 

3. Evidence. Tell me what evidence you have at the start of the matter. What is evidence? It is the facts you say support the release or exclusion of particular items of property. If you say the Maserati came from proceeds of a previous house sale and some funds came from the sale of your holden. Guess what? The police and I will want to see the trace of money from the proceeds of that house sale and evidence of the selling of the holden so we can both trace those funds into the Maserati. It's not rocket science. You don't need to go to law school to know that you will need documentation or supporting witnesses to back up evidence. Get your story together, with exhibits (supporting documents), at the start of the matter. And for the love of god, please try and be consistent. 

4. Don't drag your feet. Yup, I understand that sometimes we get depressed and distressed during intense or high value proceeds litigation. If I am feeling down, I will tell you, because I trust you. If you feel like you cannot cope, tell me, because you trust me. I account for 'down vibes' at different times and will leave you be or try and help you in whatever professional way I can. However, I am being paid to do a job and my office is the High Court. Time is money. And the High Court and other parties rely on us getting our documents into court by the timetabled date. I have had people on high and low value proceeds matters respond to my questions about a draft affidavit weeks, no months, after the affidavit was due. I am then left to create a consistent narrative between the facts and the High Court Rules as to why we should get an extension. My spiel nearly always works, but your case could be the time it doesn't. Why put our risk energy into timetabling extensions? What a waste. So, pick up your feet.

5. Clients who use intermediaries: your intermediaries need to be expert communicators and responders. One thing, you need to make sure every email and communication is passed on to the respondent or interested party or shadowy third party in the background of the proceedings. If you are going to use intermediaries, and some groups do, then I want to include that person and their role in our litigation team, in my proposal for engagement to you. 

6. Don't wait until an order is made to contact me. Some people wait to the last minute, or the day after opposition is due, to contact me about opposing a restraining order or another application by the Commissioner of Police. Okay, well we can seek a stay, we can appeal (?), or we can seek to rescind the order, but this is extra time and money per application (plus supporting affidavit), and you are paying for it, and well, it would have been easier for you to contact a lawyer when you received the application wouldn't it? Yup, I understand that some clients' lives may be upside down at the time the application is served, and I account for this (the police will bet on this). If you tell me about these fucked up circumstances that you are facing at the time of service, then I can try and ask for an extension early in the matter. I was a generalist civil litigator at the start of my career so I am great at thinking laterally when needed. 

7. Please don't make me embarrass myself in court any more than I naturally would. It has not been uncommon in the past 24 months or so, for clients to tell me an affidavit is on the way by, say, 20 August. I then reassure the Commissioner's legal team, and the court, and other parties, that Ava's affidavit will be filed by 20 August. I trust and believe everything you tell me and only think the best of you, so I tell everyone who will listen that Ava's affidavit is coming and will be filed by 20 August. We get to the next mention of your proceeds matter in early October, and the prosecutors and other parties begin with "Ms Matheson said Ava's affidavit was going to be filed by 20 August and it is not, [followed by words to the effect of 'she is clearly a liar']...." I then need to put forward your new position as at October that you now have no intention of filing this elusive mysterious affidavit that is critical to your defence. There is no greater egg on my face than the one my own clients can cook up and throw at me the day before a High Court call or mention. At this point in my career, I have resigned myself to being a non-stick frypan for you. But let's try and avoid this and only brunch on avocado on toast. It is less messy. 

8. Don't lie to me. This does not happen often, but when it does, it really hurts. It hurts because I genuinely want the best for you. It is a terrible feeling to confront a detective (in full theatrical advocate mode) about 'punching my client in the arm during questioning' when it is found out on video that no punch whatsoever took place. It might not be that terrible professionally and we move on quickly, but as a person, as a human being, I don't like confronting people about things they did not do. Now, the detectives are big boys, they don't need an apology from me. They understand I have a job to do. But please, do not embellish the facts because you think it is going to be more favorable for you. Honesty is the best policy, even when it is cringe. I prefer to work with a shittier but true set of facts over a brilliant set of lies any day. 

9. Don't sit on relevant concerns or issues because you want to save money or because you think it might be stupid or silly to say or ask. Ask. Say it. Tell me. Raise it. Express yourself fully. Let's have the awkward conversation together. The most commonly raised irk or ick among clients is related to a barrister's communication or lack thereof. Let me make this very clear. If a senior barrister on our team, even a titled one with a K and a C is making you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason, tell me. There is only one hierarchy on my litigation teams, and you are at the top of it. 

If you think you can meet the above 9 conditions, let's have a chat about your proceeds issue and we can get a proposal for engagement to you. 

As all families know who I act for. I genuinely enjoy you as my clients. I just want the best for you. 

Yours faithfully
Jessica Matheson